God vs Katie

God: What are YOU doing here.
Katie: I... need to use this journal...
God: You haven't even called.
Katie: I... I know, um... I've kinda needed some... "me" time?
God: mmm hmmm
Katie: Common baby you know I love you.
God: *sniff* its that one hussy, *sniff* Athena....
Katie: Baby, she didn't mean nothin to me, you're the only one...
God: Common, don't be lyin'.
Katie: You're right honey, but you're the only one who shares a journal with me.
God: That makes me special?
Katie: Of course! My most special boy!!
God: YAY! So, what are you doing here?
Katie: I am killing two birds with one stone because this is posted both for my LJ friends and my facebook friends. And I wanted to know when the last time everyone wrote to their congressman... I did today, Mr. Trent Franks. Here's what I said:

Katie A Downes

Katie: And just so you know, its really easy, just go here (http://www.house.gov/writerep/) and type in some info to find your congressman then write to them!
God: Who's the Congressman for Heaven?
Katie: *shakes head*

Katie: HEY! DOWN HERE! I'm really starting to get mad.... HEEEEEELLLLLLOOOOO
God: WAZZZzZzZZzUP my child.
Katie: The world! It seems to just get worse... falling apart at a high rate.
God: I'm actually not allowed to comment on that.
Katie: But what about Bush? Firings galore, stupid miscalculations, horrible speeches, and no one seems to know anything?
God: I however, cannot comment on that either.
Katie: GAWWWWD!
God: And as far as the firings go, the cabinet works at the pleasure of the president.
Katie:  You are sooooo inferiating.
God: I know....
Katie: So are you done with your little joke? and ready to spill.
God: I don't believe I have the access to that information, you might want to ask someone higher up..... *brusts out laughing*
Katie: Oh hardy har...
God: So... here's what I gotta say.  Shit happens... and although it would be great to see more people stand up against something that may potentially be wrong to them, all life is really about is moments, and making each moment count.  People think WAY too far in advance... life is a gift.  
Katie: COOOL like a birthday gift?
God: Yeah... just like a birthday gift.... happy birthday.
Katie: Neeeeat.  But you're early.
God: sigh.

*singing*
God and Katie: Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday tooooo yooooou. Happy birthday dear...
God: My son
Katie: Yahway...
Both: Happy birthday too you!

Merry Christmas everyone :-p

God: Welcome to the show.
Katie: Toni- um... this morning God and I are going to review two movies that recently went to DVD.
God: The first movie we are going to review is the Disney Pixar film, Cars.  This movie stars the voice talents of Owen Wilson, George Carlin, and many more.  Now when I first heard about this concept I was skeptical... cars talking? Its just not natural. But it actually was funny and sweet.  Plus NASCAR fans can find some neat paralells in the movie with many different drivers doing voices as themselves.  Katie?
Katie: PITSTOP!
God: Right, cute... like the little itaillan car.
Katie: PiiiiiiittttttttttttStooooooooooop!
God: The next movie we will be reviewing is Thank you for smoking.  This movie was funny... yet I was kinda bored.
Katie: Really? I loved this movie, I thought it was well done, humorous and very thoughtful.  There are so many cameoes that I don't know where to start.  I think the best cameo was Katie Holmes, and when the main character gave her what she deserved!
God: Yeah, that was pretty cool.

RECAP:

God: I gave cars 3 and a half stars.  It was cute.

Katie: PIT STOP!


God: Thank you for Smoking I gave 2 and a half stars... I guess I wasn't impressed.

Katie: 3 stars, it was fun.

Katie: VOTE EVERYONE!!!! NOW... GO AND VOTE, SKIP CLASS IF YOU HAVE TO... JUST GO AND VOTE. Here is God with a political attack ad...

God: Katie Downes... she voted democrat.  She steals swinging time from Jesus, she thinks she talks to God? Is this who we really want talking to YOUR God? Downes, Radical, Moderate, insane.
Jesus: I'm Christ and I support this ad because my swing set needs to be free.

Katie: Jee thanks.
God: That was fun hehe...
Katie: NO MORE ATTACK ADS! I can't wait till this day is over.  And at the same time I fear the outcome of today... 
God: You'll survive... you survived when Bush was re-elected.
Katie: And I've been patient... and soon he will be out of there... but today is important too. 

Katie: Oh you don't always die from tobacco.
God: Sometimes you just lose a lung.
Katie: You don't always die from tobacco...
God: Sometimes they just snip out you're tongue.
Katie: And you won't sing worth a heck, with a hole in your neck.
God: Cause you don't always die from tobaccoooooo!
Katie: Catchy tune eh?
God: Totally.
Katie: Speaking of tobacco... vote YES on pro 206!
God: You can't do that.
Katie: Do what?
God: Shamlessly force you political views on people.
Katie: Shamlessly force?
God: Yeah...
Katie: Fine! So how are you?
God: I'm good, how are you?
Katie: I'm happy because Janet N. is our governor... it would really suck if she wasn't anymore...
God: mmm hmm...
Katie: I'd be even happier if Jon Kyl was booted out of congress too...
God: well... no more force... but shameless nonetheless.
Katie: You know what else?
God: Sigh... yes I am God, but I'll humor you.
Katie: VOTE DEMI!!!!
God: Demi?
Katie: Easier than spelling the whole damn word.
God: Lazy much.
Katie: Not as lazy as the people who wrote the "Protect Marriage Act"... how boring is having a marriage only be between a Man and Woman... and even then, weddings themselves can be boring, so why should unmarried couples be fucked over too???
God: Well... aren't these the same people who read that book.
Katie: The Bible?
God: Yeah, what a silly little book.
Katie: Yeah, and apparently it says that a holy union should be between a man and woman.
God: Yeah, well fine... the "holy" ones can be... but the ones who are based on whats trully important should be honored too.
Katie: Thats trully important?
God: Love.
Katie: Of course... oh... and its not Hogwash... its animal cruelty... thats all.

Katie: Its happened...
God: wha?
Katie: I've dug myself kinda deep... much deeper than 5 ft, its going to be a hard climb.
God: At least you've figured that out...
Katie: Announcment: If anyone cares, I'm coming to Flagstaff on Oct. 19-22, if I haven't been able to talk to you yet and you would like to hang out, let me know.  K done.
God: Why wouldn't anyone care?
Katie: Oh people care, like Jules, Kel, Aaron ofcourse, and hopefully Rachel. But there are others I'd like to see... if they want to see me.
God: Uh huh... so... need a rope?
Katie: Totally... but unfourtunitly I'm holding on to a few ropes I have to let go of.
God: And fall deeper?
Katie: For a bit... then I have to climb back up alone...
God: hmmm... 
Katie: I'll be gone for a while... so if you want to talk to me e-mai me, kad33@nau.edu, or on aim.  Or if you're in Flagstaff when I am let me know, and for my out of town friends if they want to see me, and they are coming to az let me know.... bye...
God: wait, wait...
Katie: What?  I might not be on aim as much...
God: But then how will we talk?
Katie: The old fasion way?

Katie: In all my anger... I did the one thing I hate doing... forgetting about the people who are really in danger from all of this nuke stuff.
God: Thats human... 
Katie: But I want to over come the human nature, and learn to put others first... however, this test of my nature was a failure, maybe I can learn from it.  However, please pray, send good thoughts or karma, or what ever you do to the neighbors of N. Korea.  They are the ones who really need it right now.
God: Amen.
Katie: I'm Reverend Downes, peace out.
God: What the hell is that...
Katie: My new show ender phrase. You like?
God:... no.

Katie: Do you think I could convince the guys building the fence in my yard to build me a bomb sheltter?
God: Are they illegals?
Katie: Probablly.
God: Then I'm sure if you paid them, they'd build ya anything.
Katie: A great opener... a illegal joke... how sad are we?
God: Not as sad as N. Korea will be.
Katie: Dude, what are they thinking?
God: "The nuclear test... marks a historic event... It will contribute to defending peace and stability."?
Katie: HA! a country that truely hates us now has the bomb... great....
God: What are you thinking?
Katie: I'm thinking I'm going too offer the illegals money to build me a bomb sheltter.
God: *Bursts out Laughing*
Katie: Whats so funny?
God: Its just like the cold war all over again, but you didnt live thru the cold war, so you are overreacting just like others did then... and except for the communists being the "evil" ones, its not "terrorists".
Katie: Even tho N. Korea is communist.
God: Like that matters to W.  Remember anyone one who is aganist the US is just aiding the terrioists.  N. Korea no likey US= terriorist group.  Even if they are a country, with a government, and a sturcture...
Katie: But isn't N. Korea MUCH more powerful than Iraq?  Don't I feel a deja veu coming on?  Didn't I say N. Korea is more dangorous?  Didnt a lot of people say that?  Things are looking thin for republicans right now... first a pedfile senator, and now... out of the blue... N. K. has the bomb... wasn't it all just leading to this?  I feel bad for republicans, W. ruined them... he made poor choices, and countinues too... and the repubs, have to back him up no matter what, then they all look bad too... common repubs, speak out... you are becoming less and less of a party in many peoples eyes if you let this go on.
God: Damn girl, there seems to be a lot of pent up aggression about Bush, not just N.K. having the bomb...
Katie: Yeah, thats what we were orignially talking about... gee... the second they point that thing at anything... I worry about what is going to happen.... there are a lot of countries who are mad at N.K. and even more who are at the US.  I smell WWIII.
God: You are funny... I think maybe you shouldn't be so pesimistic.
Katie: All of my dreams involoved this... this war growing into something we can't stop...
God: You watch too much TV.
Katie: But why are there so many shows that included the US being hit by a mushroom cloud?
God: Cause they are trying to instill fear into the american population about a pending WWIII type senario, and you've fallen for it.
Katie: You can't tell me there is no room for worring about it.
God: No, worry all you want... its just unhealthy.
Katie: then what should I worry about?
God: Nothing... or maybe just yourself.
Katie: But what if myself is blown up by a bomb?
God:.... then you wont have much to worry about after that... except maybe who's turn it is on the swing set.
Jesus: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY SWING!

Katie: This about made me die of joy.
God: Thats impossible, you can't die of joy...
Katie: Oh shut up...

God: How are you doing my dear?
Katie: Awful... just completely awful.
God: Thats good to hear...
Katie: Oh great, he's not paying attention to me again.
God: That IS interesting.
Katie:  You remind me of Dr. Phil.
God: -what? Dr. Phil? MEE???
Katie: I knew that would catch your attention... even tho you did say hello first.
God: Yeah, sorry commerical on TV caught my eye... so whats up hommie K?
Katie: I have had the worst migraine on and off for like 4 days now... I missed work today because of it, which isn't looking good on my part... I have to go tomorrow, even if I risk getting in a car accednt in the way to work.
God: Yes you do.
Katie: Very inspiring... anyways, I cried all day... then my mom came home and cheered me up.  My head still hurts, but its a little better. I heart my mom.
God: Thats good... the ten commandments say heart your mommie and daddie.
Katie: I thought it said Honor thy mother, and thy father...
God: Dude we gotta change with the times too... its all about stay with the lingo.
Katie: You're werid... anyways I dont heart my "daddie"... I love him... but I dont heart him.  There is so much more to hearting someone.
God: Well thats too bad missy! Its in the Ten Commandments, so now you will forever burn in the firey pits of hell for your sinful ways!!! BRAWHAHAHA!
Katie: .....
Both: *giggle*
God: Right so... you should go to bed.
Katie: I rather play clue... 
God: Clue? The game huh? Wow havent played clue in a while... how many players max can you have again?
Katie: 6... Miss Scarlette, Mrs. White, Miss Peaco-
God: Don't name them... I dont care who the are... except Mustard... he's cool... I'm gonna gather me up some dead famous people and play clue... you go to bed.
Katie: yeah yeah whatever.
God: Don't you be whatevering the all mighty bioach.
Katie: *rolls eyes*

Katie: I just can believe this.
God: Its kind of disturbing.
Katie: Kinda? Who are these people?
God: People who honestly believe that this organization helps them...
Katie: Kinda like a cult?
God: Now, now... all religions have sects that could be considered cult...ly.
Katie: Cultly... but with other religions... example Christianity, there are the crazy cult sects who think that comets will take them to Jesus so they kill themselves to reach it... they there are just normal, heathly, happy Christains.  But with this group... if you're a member... you're just as crazy as the rest.  Cause if you're not bad things could happen to you.
God: It sure seems that way.  
Katie: I take it you're not answering and questions about this.
God: Unfourtinitly, if I gave out any information I would just be aided the terrorists.
Katie: Haha... very funny Mr. Bush.  Yeah... "The US" never aided terrorists before.
God: I didn't say that. *wink* just that I won't...
Katie: Are you saying Scientologists are Terrioists?
God:... no....
Katie: Good, cause thats pushing it... kinda like when that guy called Bush the devil.
God: Yeah, well... he's not evil... just misguided.
Katie: Two more years....
God: I'm so glad I live in heaven and not on "earth"...
Katie: I like Earth... wait... what did you put little quoty things?
God: Huh... oh... I dunno... *grin*

Katie: I <3 The Rue Productions.
God: God for you... werido.  Its 8am, why have you woken me?

Katie: Well.. why are you not normally up at 8am?

God: Not on a Monday... see... last night was Sunday, the "day of rest".  Basically the equivelent of a college students Thursday night... everyone who has a 8am Friday morning is too hung over to go... so... I'm going back to bed.

Katie: you have class today?

God: My son, why would the almighty need to take a class??

Katie: To expand your mind?

God: I AM, I AM. I KNOW EVERYTHING.

Katie: Whats the square root of 1,786,987,654\

God: 42.

Katie: No its not.

God: 65

Katie: what are you talking about....

God: It is 65. because I said so.

Katie: oh... well... aren't you just on fire.

God:  No... but I could set you on fire if you'd like.

Katie: This convo is going no where... I just did it for the shamless plug...

God:  We really are going commercial huh?

Katie: Maybe... but why shouldn't I capitilize on God? everyone else does ;-)....

God: Hardy Har har....

God: Yo... Facebook... quit with this whole, new stalker features. Enough young impressional people are being stalked on the internet without your help. :-D Other than that...
Katie: Yeah... I totally love you Facebook, but you're letting me down. I like my privacy, and I feel like these new features are invading somewhat. Just go back to the way you were... it was going fine...

God: Ahem?
*long pause*
God: AHEM!!?
Katie: Whta? oh hey there, how are yoo*awwwwn*?
God: Fine... where have you been, it feels like you've been sleeping.
Katie: I was... needing some time alone.
God: It is always good to test your faith.
Katie: Yeah, well I'm back... hopefully... trying to be... and well, I wanted to ask you a question.
God: Anything my child.
Katie: Why was the Crocidile hunter killed by a sting ray and not a crocidile?
God:...
Katie: I mean... wouldn't that be more of what he would've wanted?
God: You are one werid little girl. Plus, I am not in control over most of the deaths that happen. Thats fates job. HAHAHAHA... I get the easy stuff.
Katie: Like what? It doesn't seem like you've done much since you created us.
God: You Humans... always thinking you're the only ones... I'm creating others too.
Katie: Oh.
God: So... what new sins do you have in your life?
Katie: Thats a nice way of asking me whats new.
God: I thought so.
Katie: Nothin...
God: Nothin?
Katie: Yeah... um... I put off homework this week.
God: uh huh... "nothin" else?
Katie: Noooo...
God: Riiiiight.
Katie: Stop it, next subject. Did you see my fustration video.
God: I did, some of our readers may not have.
Katie: Thats okay... its a little graphic.
God: Yeah I liked all the blood. I'd give is a half star of david.
Katie: ONLY A HALF?
God: Well... its stick figure animation, blotchie, horribly unrealistic, and I can't even call it a movie, however, the 20 seconds it does last is neat, so you should feel lucky you even get half a star.
Katie: Half of stars are not allowed anymore....
God: Sigh... then no star.
Katie: But... I
God: Sorry... shotty work actually.
Katie: ... :(

God: Well we've done it... we've gone commercial.
Katie: But we have new features and stuff that will make this journal soooo much better.
God: What like more icons...
Katie: Dude! And, we can do pictures and polls...
God: Polls? Hmmm... sounds like a good reaccouring...thing.
Katie: Are you-
God: shhh. The Almighty does not know to what you are refering to.
Katie: Anyways...
God: hmmm... pictures huh?

Katie: Nice.
God: BAM! Okay... so maybe going commercial isn't the worse thing that could happen...

Katie: This movie doesn't need much of an intro. Our favorite characters from the first movie are back... and I mean all of them, and are in a lot of trouble this time.
God: Once again we see how dishonest being a Pirate can be, and so do some of the other more honest characters.
Katie: I don't think this movie was as good as the first. It did have non stop action and great special effects... but the non stop was a little too non stop if you know what I'm saying.
God: NO. It was perfect. Lots of things blowing up, and sword fighting, hells yes.
Katie: Hells yes?
God: Word?
Katie: Talk normal.
God: Parley?
Katie: Wouldn't YOU be the Captin? of like everything.
God: Neat! I want a big hat.
Katie: Anyways, we are also introduced to a few new charaters, including Davey Jones, who I recently found out is the same guy from Love Actually... I wanted him to break out into: "I feel it in my tenticals, I feel it in my toes..."
God: "Treasure is all around us, so the feeling grrrrows."
Katie: He could have a new movie: "My heart.... actually."
God: Anyways.

Recap:

Katie: I enjoyed this movie, it left you hanging and ready for the next one. It would've been nice to have had a little breather now and then from all the action, but it was good.


God: WOOOO. I like Pirates.